Don’t worry- this is not a blog post about how I have it all figured out and decided to help the world figure it out, too.
Far from it.
This is a blog post from a heart that has spent six months breaking and breaking again. It is a post from a girl who has spent more time weeping than rejoicing. It is from the mouth of someone who thought she had it all figured out, but fell on her face so hard she wasn’t sure she would get up. This blog post is from the ground, looking up.
From that place, I can’t say a lot with certainty. What I can say, in complete confidence, is that God is so much bigger than my trials and hardship. I don’t understand His ways. Really, I don’t. I was pretty sure I had it all figured out. My life was, as much as one can be, perfect. It wasn’t flawless, so perhaps not perfect by definition, but my experience of my own life was perfect. From a place of intimacy with the Lord I battled every surprise attack with confidence. Yes, there were tears and definitely pain, but through the tears I could always see that God was in control.
And that made every experience perfect.
I would say life threw me some curve balls, but the reality is, I threw them at myself. I think most of us, if we are honest, know that is the case more often than not. We get ourselves into messes and then blame the world for making our life hard. Time passes and the dust settles and we see where we went wrong and how we messed up.
The problem is, too many of us get stuck in that place. We realize it, but then we are far too comfortable in the amount of pity we have been able to rally in, and the thought of rebuilding the broken things is far too overwhelming. If you are anything like me, you’d rather move on after a storm blows through. It’s way easier to go somewhere new and start from the ground up rather than stay for the messy process of clearing debris and restoring something that once was into something far more beautiful.
We have a plethora of excuses as to why it is better that way. Specifically regarding broken relationships, I have heard this one a lot:
Sometimes it’s just not a good idea to reconcile.
I just don’t think it is God’s heart for us to reconcile.
Let me just tell you, that is perhaps one of the most absurd things I have ever heard. If you can offer a biblical foundation for those words, I will happily consider that possibility. As someone who would way rather run from my problems, that would make my life a lot easier. Then I could excuse my pride when I am too proud to admit my wrongs. I could excuse my fears when I am afraid of rejection. I could excuse my hurt when I relive the pain of brokenness time and time again. Then, I could excuse the guilt of all my excuses, because I could rest in the fact that
“reconciliation just wasn’t God’s heart.”
The problem, or better yet, the solution is that God’s heart is always for reconciliation. There is a never a time when reconciliation is a bad idea. For those of you who are reading this and shaking your heads, confident you can present an example where it is, in fact, a bad idea, let me offer you the definition of the word:
|— vb (usually foll by to )|
|1.||to make (oneself or another) no longer opposed; cause to acquiesce in something unpleasant:
Another site defines it simply as the act of settling a quarrel or difference.
(Please note that it does not mention being best friends with someone who is unsafe, or re-entering into relationship with someone who has done more harm to you than good.)
My opinion is that many are misinformed on true forgiveness and reconciliation. We hear the word reconcile and we think that means we have to compromise ourselves and submit to a relational position that we no longer desire, or even worse, one that we have determined to be unhealthy for us. Instead of seeking peace, we run the other way, claiming “reconciliation is just not God’s heart for this.”
There are at least 62 verses in the Bible about reconciliation, and not one of those suggests that there is any excuse to avoid it.
I don’t want to preach. I’m not very good at it- just ask my class. But I do want to make a point.
If Christians would act like Christ- or better said, take the time to truly know Him, I believe there would be a radical wave of love released, simply through the message of reconciliation.
It says in the Word:
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
What if we, hard as it may be, simply mirrored The Lord in this one way? What if, no matter how difficult, we chose to keep no record of wrong and to count no trespass against a brother? What if we chose to operate in the ministry of reconciliation?
I can’t say for sure, but I think the impact would be radical.
In other news- stay tuned for a super fun update about OperationLaura.