Being engaged is literally the weirdest thing I have ever experienced.
It’s like being in a holding pattern for what feels like eternity, all while preparing your heart and mind to become one with the love of your life. It’s perpetual bliss and excitement juxtaposed to perpetual impatience and frustration.
It’s fun and games, and it’s serious business.
Being engaged is the best of times, and the worst of times.
We often hear of the amazing things that come with being engaged. There’s the ring, the bridal showers, the lingerie showers, the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the gifts, the dinners, the dreaming and planning, and so much more.
What we hear less of are the trials and aggravations that come with being engaged. And let me tell you, they are real and they are many.
There’s the finances and the budgeting, and there’s the scheduling and planning- a real nightmare for anyone who is an ENFP. There’s the crafting and decorating and there’s the delegating and assigning tasks. Then there’s the expectations that come from every direction. There are relationships that must be cared for, and there are hearts involved other than the two that are becoming one. There’s a whirlwind of emotion and never enough chocolate.
The list goes on- for both the good, and the difficult.
This morning as I journaled, I realized that this must be quite normal. If our marriage here on Earth is to look like our eternal marriage to Jesus, then it should not come as a surprise that there would be various trials and troubles in the preparation phase. While I don’t like it, it brings me comfort knowing that this is normal, and to be expected. We were never promised that our time on Earth- our preparation phase- would be pain free or simple bliss. In fact, we were promised the exact opposite. It should come as no surprise to me that an engagement season would reflect that in various ways.
While I don’t know everything, I know that we are promised that the trials and struggles are always worth it when we endure and persevere. I also have no idea what it would look like to fully let things go, and not be affected by the various trials, but what I do know is that God grants wisdom to those who seek it out.
So here’s what I know.
BREATHE. This season is beautiful. Take it all in. Allow your heart to feel all the emotions that come with being engaged and preparing for marriage. Emotions are not bad or wrong. In fact, they are healthy.
DELEGATE. Allow others to help you. Allow others who you trust fully to speak for you and handle situations that are simply overwhelming.
LET IT GO. Sometimes we just can’t take care of everything. Be willing to let things go and if it is important enough someone else will take care of it. If not, it won’t matter anyway.
SURROUND YOURSELF. Let those who are closest to you and know you best be the ones in your inner circle in this season. To be loved on and cherished in this season is so important, and it literally means the world to be cared for by those people. This is the one season in your life where it’s okay for everything to be about you. The people in your life who truly love and care for you will want that for you as well and will not add stress by making it about them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
CELEBRATE. CELEBRATE EVERYTHING. Celebrate the parties and the showers, and celebrate the countdowns. Celebrate when you cross things off your list. Celebrate when you make payments to venues and vendors. Celebrate when you finish crafts and projects. Celebrate the upcoming honeymoon. Celebrate the days off- and make time for them. Celebrate coffee- it works wonders. Celebrate the trials, too. They are strengthening your relationship already, and it’s likely the experiences you have now will come in handy later on.
Most importantly, CELEBRATE LOVE.
God loves love. In fact, I believe He celebrates it. He created it, after all.
So celebrate your love, unashamedly, and anticipate the light at the end of the tunnel.
It will all be worth it on that wedding day, when you commit your lives to one another, in the presence of God, family, and friends, and then together, CELEBRATE.