A few days prior to the start of 2013 I received an email from a man I know.
I was sitting in a tiny room in Jerusalem, overwhelmed by a large number of things. Looking back, those things were so minor. His email seemed to be exactly what I needed to shift my focus for a bit.
In his email, he told me of a challenge he had offered his children for the upcoming year. He had asked them certain questions that he wanted them to consider with great thought, and get back to him. The questions all had to do with their desire for the year and what they wanted to see happen in their lives regarding their whole person- mental, physical, and spiritual.
I began to think about it, but didn’t come up with any answers immediately. I decided I would save it for January 1, 2013.
I woke up on New Years Day and that was the first thing that came to my mind. I just knew I had to answer those questions, not for him, but for me. One of the questions had something to do with what I wanted to see happen in my walk with God over the course of the year. I was quick to ask the Lord what He thought.
Quite innocently, I asked Him, “What do You want this year to be about?” Much to my surprise, He responded, “Laura, I want to know what you want it to be about.”
It took me a few minutes, but I boldly and confidently told The Lord I wanted 2013 to be about humility. “Humble me this year,” I told Him. He was quick to respond. “Laura, I will do that if you want it. But it is going to hurt.” I said yes. I was up for the challenge.
I am here today, November 17, 2013 to bear witness that God is not one that He should lie.
He has humbled me (and still is) and it has hurt.
There was the emergency appendectomy in Rwanda. Then there was the thing with the thing about the thing. Then there was all the stuff- losing friends, harsh words, starting over, and submission, of course. Then there was the tripping and falling only to realize I had stumbled over my own mess. I was almost certain it was over.
Then #operationlaura happened.
I sat in my floor just a few nights ago and simply cried. What I was experiencing was completely beyond my understanding. I was overwhelmed. I was exhausted. I was amazed. Most of all, I was humbled.
That feeling, all too familiar, was so weighty I felt I could not even move.
That is when I heard a faint whisper.
“You asked Me to humble you, Laura.”
Do I think God caused this? Absolutely not. Do I think He is using it? Absolutely.
I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will, but I am undone every time I witness the fulfillment of His promises.
Even when they hurt.