Oh my gosh, how is it that I am one week away from the third trimester?
It literally feels like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant, and obsessively peed on a total of fourteen sticks just to be sure I was still pregnant in the days to follow.
I have learned a lot in twenty-seven weeks, yet, somehow, I still know so little. One thing that I have learned- most definitely- is that pregnancy is one of the most emotionally trying times ever. I think pregnant mamas actually get a super bad reputation for being moody, and it’s sort of unfair. Whether it’s coming from another mom who’s twenty years past this phase of life, or from a friend who has never been pregnant, it’s never one person’s right to tell another person they are “just being emotional.”
I mean, sometimes it’s true- we are just plain emotional- but often times, people have very real and challenging circumstances in their life, that another person would simply not know of.
I’m rambling, but my point is, sometimes pregnant mamas just need extra love and grace. Growing a human is a full time job, and it is not an easy one.
One thing that I have been super aware of in my pregnancy, although I think I’ve been sensitive to this my entire life, is the judgements of others.
Everyone has an opinion about everything, I know. And I know I shouldn’t care, and I wish I didn’t care, but I do.
I had a friend say to me recently, “I mean, people are going to talk about you behind your back no matter what.”
I think this is honestly what gets to me so much. It is just plain sad. The fact that our society is so consumed with forming negative opinions and judgements of one another is absolutely disturbing.
This altogether disturbing trend in our society has kept me from sharing much of my pregnancy journey with others- including friends and family. (I should say especially friends and family). I have wanted to guard myself, as well as the little one growing inside me. But the biggest lesson I am learning in life right now is to trust God, and let go of the fear of man.
I think, practically speaking, what this looks like for me in life right now is to learn to not be bothered or affected by the opinions and judgements of others, whether spoken directly to me, or spoken to someone else (but realized by my sneaky intuition).
With that in mind, I decided to give a little pregnancy update from the very beginning all the way to where I am today.
Oh, and I am even going to include a few bump pictures, because… well, I am growing a human, and whether my bump is too big, too small, too high, or too low, the tiny human inside me is so incredibly beautiful that I should have no reason to hide her.
4 weeks pregnant- completely ecstatic
This photo was taken the day I found out I was pregnant- exactly at the four week mark. Daniel and I had made a decision just weeks before that we were ready to get pregnant. We had been doing natural family planning, so we reversed our “plan” and used it to help us get pregnant rather than to prevent.
10 weeks pregnant- entirely sick all the time
I know everyone is different, and even among those who experience sickness, it can be very very different. I always hate when other mamas say to me “well at least.. blah blah blah,” or “it could be worse.. blah blah blah,” so I will simply speak to my own experience and say my sickness was absolutely awful. I remember one day in particular that I was so sick I called Daniel at work and begged him to come home and take care of me. I literally never left the bed, and was actually moaning in agony. I was lucky to only throw up probably less than ten times, but sometimes I think nausea without throwing up is actually worse.
Oh, and at 10.5 weeks, we had the Panorama genetic blood work done just to make sure everything was okay with our little one.
Anddd.. I had no change in my body yet.
15 weeks pregnant- less sick, but super tired
By this point I was certainly a little less sick, but incredibly tired all the time. I was literally taking 2-3 hour naps every single day, and still sleeping 8-9 hours every night. People loved to say “enjoy now because soon you won’t get any sleep at all,” which, by the way, is probably not the best thing to say to an exhausted pregnant woman.
By this point we had found out that Baby Crawford was one hundred percent GIRL!
I also traveled during weeks 15-16. I went to Boston with a good friend and we explored while our husbands worked. I can’t remember the exact number, but I am pretty sure we walked somewhere around 8 miles a day while we were there, so I pretty much went nonstop. But- it was good for me. I have been a firm believer in continuing to work out from the very beginning of pregnancy, so I was not held back by long distances. I do remember having to ask my friend to slow down a little bit, but that was about it.
Oh, and I was starting to feel bloated and pudgy although I could still button all of my pants and most people wouldn’t have known I was pregnant.
20 weeks pregnant- completely overwhelmed
Gosh, at twenty weeks I was so completely overwhelmed. Something about that halfway mark, as well as seeing your twenty week ultrasound and realizing how much your tiny human has grown is just.. A LOT.
We also found out a lot of difficult stuff with my husband’s work and our financial situation at this point, so we were just a little bit on edge.
Physically speaking, I began to have a little bit more energy, but not a lot. Just enough that I was able to start running again and even challenge myself with times and distances. I was also able to pick up some more strength training workouts that I had gone easy on since about week ten.
I was still able to button all of my pants, and again, most people wouldn’t have known I was pregnant, but I felt so completely bloated and unattractive.
24 weeks- oh hey baby bump
Something drastic happened between week 20 and week 24- the little girl inside me decided to reveal her growing self and stop tucking herself away deep inside me. Seriously, I am amazed when I look at the difference between these weeks. A month is so short, yet so much can change so quickly!
By 24 weeks, I was back to working out six days a week, and running at least three of those days.
My biggest pregnancy craving (watermelon) was increasing daily, and I couldn’t keep up with my desire (I prefer to call it a need) for it. I actually cried one night when I went to the fridge and there was no more precut watermelon. Luckily there was a whole watermelon on the counter because my husband prepared for the moment.
And yea- here’s that drastic change!
27 weeks- real life, real time
I would say, second to being sick in the first trimester, this has been the hardest week for me so far in pregnancy. Part of that is because I hurt my back somehow, and part of it is because this little girl is seriously growing so rapidly that I becoming sort of uncomfortable. Whether it’s going to the bathroom four times in the middle of the night, or not being able to sit straight up out of bed, or having the worst heartburn ever, I am just experiencing a lot of new things that I obviously never have before.
On the happier note, this is also the most excited I have been in pregnancy. We still have almost nothing that we actually need for baby, but somehow it’s okay.
She is so alive and active inside me, and even though she isn’t here yet, she very much is. We talk to her every day and we read stories to her all the time. We watch her roll over in my belly, and we laugh when she responds to loud noises or to cold drinks. She is just so much fun already and we feel like we have a glimpse of her personality.
Oh, and I don’t think I have mentioned that her name is Sadie Rae. We chose the middle name Rae long before we were ever even trying to get pregnant, and we chose the name Sadie sometime around week 13 or 14.
When we chose the name Sadie, we knew that in Hebrew it means “princess,” or “one who is royal.” We later found out that in English it means “mercy.”
We really wanted Sadie to grow up knowing her value and her worth, so knowing that first meaning, we were sold. Finding out the second meaning was just a bonus, and we already feel that she will be so merciful and kind.
As for Rae, in Hebrew it literally means “little lamb.” That’s super fun for us, because we only found that out recently, and prior to discovering that, we had already begun to call her “little lamb.” In English, Rae means “grace.”
Our little lamb, our merciful and graceful princess is growing so big and strong.
Here she is- zero filter- on Tuesday, August 30, 2016.